Body Talk /
It is often said that 85-95% of language is non verbal, so we can glean a lot of information from things which are not being said. The body automatically mirrors the mind in many situations. Of course this does not mean you can afford to miss what your date is saying while examining their body language, the sheer disinterest this would exhibit would be enough to drive most people away. But there are certain behaviours it is useful to be aware of at times when you are unsure of how your love interest feels, and others you may wish to check with yourself and how they could be damaging your dating potential.
Positive behaviour to look out for:
• Eye Contact Caught that good looking guy having a little sideways look at you across the room? If you catch his eye and he looks away with a smile you’re on to something. He’s a little embarrassed but secretly glad you caught him in the act.
• Miles of Smiles A pretty obvious one, but smiling is right up there with eye contact as a sure sign someone could be keen on you.
• Gestures Some gesticulation in conversation shows the speaker is enthusiastic about the subject in hand and this in itself may help you learn more about them as an individual. While some gesticulation is expected (a complete lack of it would denote an especially uninterested speaker), very high levels may signal a rather more excitable character. Open gestures such as palms open and/or up is a good sign. Open arms, leaning in, tilting or a slight ducking of the head in responses are all signs showing openness and interest.
• Pupil Dilation In a close environment and if you have the opportunity, see if you can spot his pupils dilating. This is a sure sign from Mother Nature that he’s happy and enjoying his time with you.
• Mirroring Behaviours You pick up your coffee, he picks up his coffee. You smile and look down, he smiles and looks down. Another couple of sure signs he likes you. Mirroring is a sincere form of flattery, even of the person doing it doesn’t realise how attentive they are being.
• Position A person who may be fond of you is likely to stand or sit directly facing you of they can, or as close to it of the situation doesn’t allow for that.
Negative behaviour to look out of:
• Tightly crossed legs Indicates defensiveness, but loosely crossed legs can be a good sign.
• Folded arms Could mean your new friend is bored.
• Pulling at clothes A sign of being uncomfortable and ill at ease.• Looking around the room when you are talking He’s bored and looking for something else to entertain him.
• Leaning away from you As above, where leaning in is a good sign, here lies the opposite.
• Tapping feet or fingers A sign of their mind being elsewhere and rather rudely showing their disinterest.• False smile They’re trying to be polite but don’t really want to continue the conversation.
• Touching the face Can be a signal for boredom and/or anxiety.
• Covering the mouth Commonly believed to indicate lying but may also signify nervousness. If you think you are seeing one or more of these behaviours in your love interest, cut your losses and walk away. But enough about them, are you optimising your potential pulling power through your own body language?
How’s Your…
• Posture? Your posture says a lot about you and your confidence levels. If you slouch, hunch your shoulders and/or drag your feet you will appear grumpy, disinterested and closed off. A confident walk with a straight back, shoulders square, and head held high will make a huge different to how you are seen by others.
• First Impressions? People sometimes say ‘dress for the job you want, not the job you have’. Not always appropriate as you may be an office worker who wants to be an astronaut, but the same goes for your dating. What you wear says a lot about who you are and how you take care of yourself. If you decide to go to the supermarket wearing jogging pants and a sweatshirt with a mark on it don’t expect anyone to pay you any attention. Dress how you want to be seen. It will take you just an extra couple of minutes to put in the effort and look good each day, and could make all the difference.
• Eye Contact? We’ve read above how big a deal eye contact can be in showing interest, but do you maximise your readability? Shy people tend to look away or down when being spoken to. This can be mistaken for disinterest. We’re not suggesting manically staring in to the eyes of your new friend until they get so uncomfortable as to leave, but show your interest, make it known. If someone you are keen on is talking and you’re listening, you are likely to naturally tilt your head, nod in the right places, and make good eye contact. He will subconsciously take in this information. Essentially, you’ll have told him you like him without saying a single word.
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