Being Flirtastic /
It can be much more difficult to flirt online than in person due to the lack of body language involved. The inability to read the face, body and eyes can put you at a huge disadvantage when flirting online if you aren’t ready and prepared. The language of flirting can become jumbled and read incorrectly if not handled with care.
When you find someone online you think you may be attracted to it’s time to get chatting. You don’t need to start flirty, but if they respond positively to your contact a few times you may come to the point where flirty behaviour is acceptable. This will be different for everyone you email and have contact with. Be sure to judge your approach to each individual carefully, as to misjudge the timing will most likely mean you lose contact altogether.
As with any form of text communication your emphasis and tone need to be picked up from what you write, as there is no intonation or inflection available to the recipient. For example, two friends have a minor dispute one morning. Around lunchtime one of them texts the other saying ‘are you ok?’. This could be taken to mean ‘are you having a good day?’, or to mean ‘are we ok after this morning?’. If the recipient replies ‘I’m fine!’, this could be taken to mean ‘yes thank you, I’m fine today’ or a tone of ‘leave me alone I’m angry at you’. In reading this you may see something different altogether. If you view a profile you like and wish to contact the person you can message them using the dating site’s own system. It’s usually best to keep it short and sweet when first starting to flirt online. Being bogged down by very long initial contact emails can make people wary. Would you walk up to someone in a bar and rattle off three or four paragraphs worth about yourself punctuated with questions about them? I would hope not. The same goes for emails and online flirting, you must be very clear and concise if you are trying to deliver a message to someone. If the response is positive the electronic part of the relationship can being to grow and the flirting may be able to begin. When you feel the time is right, keep it light hearted and witty, nothing to heavy or serious. For example, say ‘cute profile picture’ instead of ‘you are a very beautiful lady’. Use all available resources such as emoticons to convey your tone if you think what you are saying could be taken one of two ways. For example ‘it’s all your fault!’ could be taken badly, but when followed by a :^) (winking face) you can immediately recognise that the sender is joking with you.
As you get to know the individual a bit better you may be able to send them occasional links to web pages you think they may like, for example news stories, specialist sites and event pages. Ask about the person, but be sure to read their profile first. Asking them something when the answer is on their profile page could be deeply embarrassing. A little fun flirting is a great way to interpret how the other person views you, if they flirt back, this is a good sign. If you hear from them very intermittently, they are unresponsive to your flirtation, or they don’t respond at all, just leave it at that, it wasn’t to be. Don’t email people straight back, nor send them two emails in a row if they haven’t come back to you, this can be quite off putting for many people as it seems too keen.
But most importantly of all – play safe. Remember you don’t know this person, they may not be safe. Most online dating agencies have stringent checks in place and are very safe to use, but you need to look after yourself.
Remember these rules:
1. Try to use paying sites, free ones may have less checks in place and it may be easier for the undesirables to slip through then net on sites like this.
2. Go with your instinct, if this person is making you feel a little unsure or uneasy, forget it. Know when to walk away and stick to it.
3. NEVER under any circumstances let them see or have a photo of you with few or no clothes on. It could well come back to haunt you.
4. Don’t share too much information. They shouldn’t ask, but if anyone does, don’t give them your home number, address, mother’s maiden name, pet’s names, where you were born, none of this. They are all security related questions and most people’s passwords to a variety of secure services.
5. It is wise to set up a new email account specifically for dating emails. In the worst case you can just shut it down and forget about it.
6. Look for inconsistencies in their story. Keep an eye open for the married, the untrustworthy, and the plain dodgy. >7. Ask for a recent photo, many people use rather old photos for their profiles which can be misleading. >