How To Keep The Sparkle In Your Relationship /
Let’s face it, there is no shortage of dating advice and flirting tips on the internet. But there is slightly less advice on what happens next. Maintaining a relationship isn’t easy, contrary to what you see in Hollywood films. Especially after a few years of being together, it’s easy to fall into a rut and let the relationship go a bit stale. So the dating (and relationship) wizards here have pulled together eight steps to put you back on the road to the lovezone and inject your relationship with the spark it once had
Have a weekly date night
Just because you’re in a steady relationship, doesn’t mean that you have to stop dating. Curling up on the sofa with a pizza and a film is all well and good, but not all the time. Have one evening a week when you get dressed up and go out for dinner, or go to the cinema or to the theatre. Get a baby sitter in for the kids, or better still have them spend the night at your parents so you get the whole evening together. With no television on you will actually have to make conversation with each other – remember that?
Try to not sweat the small stuff
It’s easy to get into the habit of bickering about things that don’t really matter. Like leaving the toilet seat up/down. Does it really matter? No. If your other half does something mildly annoying, don’t feel the need to moan about it every time – truth of it is, you’re probably pretty annoying sometime too. Try and let it go.
Remember why you fell in love in the first place
Was it their sense of humour? Their confidence? Whatever it was, it’s probably still there – you are just used to it and so don’t notice or appreciate it as much. Take a trip down memory lane together – it’ll remind you of all the things you love about each other and why you’re together after all this time.
Don’t take each other for granted
Probably the most common problem in all relationships. When you first got together you were grateful if he/she picked you up after a night out, or gave you a lift somewhere, or bought you a present. Now, you expect it and probably snap at him/her for being late or not giving enough. This is where the bickering starts. So instead, show each other that you appreciate the small things you do for each other, that usually go unnoticed. It will make the world of difference, and make both of you feel more happy and rewarded in your relationship.
When the most spontaneous thing you do in your relationship is getting a curry instead of a Chinese, or watch a romcom instead of a thriller, then you’re in trouble. Getting stuck in a routine is half the reason that people have affairs; because they crave change and excitement. It doesn’t have to be a weekend in Paris (although that wouldn’t hurt); organise a surprise evening out, have a picnic in the park or cook a candlelit dinner at home – anything to break from the norm.
Make the effort
OK, while it’s great that you are totally comfortable with each other now, try not to let it all hang out all the time. You’re other half may find you sexy in your sweats, but that doesn’t mean that you spend 24/7 in them. Ladies, just because you have a man doesn’t mean that you can let yourself go – keep yourself groomed (brush your hair, shave your legs etc) and dress up every once in a while. Same goes for you guys – just because you have a girlfriend pinned down does not mean that you can now concentrate on growing a beer belly. You want your other half to be proud to have you on their arm.
Spice it up
You used to not be able to keep your hands off each other. What happened? Again, it’s the old trap of falling into a routine. Now we’re not saying you need to start swinging. Ask about your partners fantasies; find out what you can do to being the passion back. Don’t restrict fooling around to the bedroom. You never know, you might find something new that takes you both back to that honeymoon feeling!
If the spark really has gone, and you are tempted to look elsewhere, then the best thing to do is have an honest conversation with your partner about how you are feeling. The worst thing you can do is give into temptation and cheat; you will just feel guilty and will hurt your partner unnecessarily. Have a trial break, and analyse whether you really want to be with someone else, without lust or temptation blurring your judgement.