Safe Dating Tips /
When you meet someone on the internet, look at their dating profile, see their photo’s and exchange lots of messages you often feel like you know them already so arranging a date is a logical step. You might be thinking to yourself that you know the person much better than you would if you had met them in a bar. However, the thing you are missing when you meet someone on the internet is that intuition you experience when you meet someone face to face.
Just a few seconds of conversation, watching mannerisms and body language tell you a huge amount about a person. Although internet dating gives the opportunity of offering up much more information than the average bar chat you must acknowledge that the two types of meeting are a very different animal.
You know when you meet someone and they make you feel a little uncomfortable? That probably means something isn’t quite right so you should listen to your instincts, they are usually accurate. How about when you think someone is good looking but something is amiss? It probably means the chemistry isn’t right between you and that is impossible to correct. When we meet potential partners our brain receptors work away subconsciously to influence our opinion on someone based upon lots of different things, both physically and instinctively.
Keeping this in mind, although your internet chats might have been deep and meaningful, you are a big fan of the photo’s and you even like their voice on the phone….Try to manage your expectations until you actually meet the person.
Your priority when organising a date with someone you’ve met on the internet should be personal safety (especially for females), you also need a ‘get out of jail free’ plan if you discover you don’t gel with your date face to face. Don’t feel guilty about this – it’s important not to waste your time or others if you don’t think there’s a future in it so everyone can have as many opportunities as possible to meet ‘the one’.
Use these tips when arranging your date;
- Find out as much information about the person that you can (work, friends, family, living situation etc)
- Arrange ‘a coffee’ or ‘a drink’ instead of dinner (can you imagine suffering 3 courses with a complete bore??!) Lunch time is good as its appropriate to make your excuses after half an hour/an hour. Then there’s no need for fake emergency calls to get you out of there!
- Choose a meeting place that you know well, meet them in there (not by your house or car).
- Meet the person sober, it’s not safe or good for judgement to arrange a meeting after you’ve been drinking with your mates for a few hours before. It would also be rude to them if you were half cut.
- Manage their expectations, for example; ‘I would love to meet you for a chat over coffee for half an hour so we can see how we get on’.
- Tell a close friend/family member exactly what your plans are and when to expect a text/call from you to say you are ok.
- Don’t let them walk you back to your house/car at the end of the first date – say you are off to meet a friend and walk in the opposite direction.
- Don’t be pressured into arranging a second date there and then, just say you enjoyed meeting them and you’ll be in touch. You can then go back to chatting with them on the net if you find it easier.
Don’t be disheartened….In my experience there will also be people you’ll arrange to meet who will exceed your expectations, if this is the case you can arrange the second date to be more than just coffee and get to know each other a lot better!